The holidays are a happy time of the year for many of us — festivities, good food, gifts, family gatherings, you name it.
At the same time, the holidays can also be a source of stress. To help our students and families navigate the season, two of IUSD’s experts — Sunny Shen, Director of Prevention and Intervention, and Connie Jacobs, Coordinator of College and Career Readiness — are sharing self-care tips for how to take care of yourself and your family this winter break.
Practice self-care
Self-care is an intentional daily practice of caring for our mental, physical and emotional health. It can be as simple as taking one intentional breath in and out.
The first step of self-care is to find out what your needs are. Ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Does your body need rest, exercise, or time spent outdoors? Are you feeling irritable, overwhelmed, sad, or joyful? Do you need more stimulation for your mind, or does it need a healthy break? Do you need alone time or quiet time with someone special?
If you are a parent, it’s easy to focus on your children and forget about yourself. Taking care of yourself will ultimately take care of your children as you set a healthy example for your loved ones. When we listen to and meet our own needs, we can also better understand and be aware of the needs of others.
If you want to care for your mind, read books, learn new things, make art, work on problem-solving activities like doing puzzles or take a break. To care for your body, eat healthy, drink lots of water, exercise, relax, get lots of sleep and practice deep breathing. You can keep your spirits up by spending time in nature, dancing, singing, helping others, or practicing meditation and mindfulness. To nourish your heart, cuddle with your pet, spend time with friends and family, and just have fun.
Just a few moments of these practices can make a big difference. For more information on proven ways to increase your well-being, click here.
Cultivate Calming Strategies
Sometimes you might find yourself in a spirited discussion with your loved ones or friends. Here are some things you can do to calm such situations.
First, recognize what it feels like physically and mentally when you get upset. Fast heartbeats? Pounding head? Thoughts that keep repeating or going in circles? Learn your own body’s warning signs.
Then take a timeout from the situation to distract your mind and calm down. Recognize that continued engagement isn’t going to help. Focus on your breathing. Belly breathing helps. Get your body moving by walking, doing isometric exercises, or doing windmills with your arms. Try to engage your cortex. Do mental math, spell backward, list facts, and slow the pace.
Also, watch for signs in the other person. The more you stay calm, the easier it is for them to calm down.
Acknowledge their feelings. Use a calm, empathetic tone. Invite them to take a timeout (non-punitive) or “cool down time.” This works best if it is an option, not a command.
Have a Plan for Managing Emotions and Feelings
Regardless of the tips above, you or your loved ones might face a crisis — a panic attack or intense mood swings. It’s hard to think of what to do for yourself when things get tough. So, it’s best to have a plan ready when you need it.
First, make a list of what you can do when you are upset that will be good for you. It could be exercise, walking, listening to music, reading a book, or watching a movie. List all the things you like to do, so you remember what they are when you need to think of something.
Next, list people you can contact if you need support or distraction. Who can you call if you are feeling depressed or anxious? Who can you call if you are lonely? Who will come over to be with you if you need company? Who will listen? Who will encourage you to get out of the house and do something fun? They can be your friend, sibling, parent, grandparent, relative, or therapist. Also, know how to reach out for supports when needed. Remember, there are many ways to ask for help for yourself or for others. Visit our Prevention and Intervention and Counseling webpages. Both sites provide mental health and wellness resources and links to information and services.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Make a list of positive things to say to yourself instead of engaging in negative self-talk. This includes practicing a growth mindset when you face challenges or adversity. Instead of saying, “I got a B on the paper; that proves I shouldn’t be in college,” change it to, “That is a good grade. I will work on getting a better one.” Try to think about what you would say to a friend with the same struggle and apply it to yourself!
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Make a list of who and what to avoid when you are having a hard time. Not everyone can be supportive or helpful in every situation but it’s important to form connections and spend time with people who care for you and will help lift you up. Go to family, friends or other trusted individuals who can be supportive about the specific issues you are dealing with.
Write It Down
Write this plan on an index card. Keep it in your purse or wallet (and on your phone if you can).
Look at it often. Add any good ideas to it whenever you can.
Prioritize Relaxation
Often parents are deeply committed to supporting their child’s development and provide a variety of wonderful, enriching and beneficial activities. However, when there is downtime during breaks, prioritize relaxation and give them some time away from academic related activities.
Equally important to children’s development is the ability to build relationships and to be a part of a team. This can be achieved through volunteering or helping others. And don’t forget about the benefits of spending time with family and friends, including family game or movie nights and outings with friends. These types of social connections and supports can prevent children and teens from feeling isolated and can strengthen bonds to family, friends and their community.
Additionally, reading is one of the best things children can do not just academically and but also for enjoyment. Let your children choose what books to read. If they love comic books, let them read comic books. To learn more about the power of reading in reducing stress, see our most recent Mindful Monday video from the District’s literacy team.
Lastly, be sure to check in on your children. Ask them how they are doing. Ideally, your children will open up to you, but many times they may not. That’s OK and normal. By asking how they are doing, especially during family dinners, walks or other activities, it shows you care about what’s going on in their lives and that you want to know how you can support or help them.
We hope you and your family find many wonderful moments of joy and relaxation this winter break.